Teens and Motivation Part 3

Thank you so much for continuing to read our blog series on Teens and Motivation! This is the final segment to our series and if you missed Part 1 and Part 2, check them out here and here!

We can’t discuss how to motivate teens without looking a bit more at what motivation actually is. In our culture, we often think of motivation as something that is a static, ongoing state. People are often described as being motivated, or not. Motivation is often thought of as something quick and easy that you can just become all of a sudden. Unfortunately, motivation is much more complex than all of this would suggest and despite what Oprah and her “aha” moments might tell you, it can be a long process in getting someone ready for change. Additionally, motivation is variable and changes over time.

When anyone presents for therapy, particularly parents on behalf of their children or teens, they are wanting changes and they usually want them quickly. A big part of my job is to understand the client and evaluate their readiness for change. A key component of how I do this is through utilizing a psychological theory called The Transtheoretical Model of Change by Prochaska and DiClemente which is often just referred to as Stages of Change for simplicity. This is a model of change that was initially used to understand addiction but is a helpful framework when considering any person who is contemplating a change in their lives.

Here is a brief overview of the stages:

1. Pre-contemplation: This can be summed up as the time before a person realizes that they either need or want to make a change. “I don’t need to change.” Sometimes referred to as “denial.”
2. Contemplation: When a person is considering change. The hallmark of this stage is ambivalence, which means that the person is on the fence about change. Perhaps part of them feels change is needed and possible but another part argues against it. “Hmmm… Should I change?”
3. Preparation: Getting ready to change
4. Action: Actually making the changes
5. Maintenance: Living the changes

Parents need to know the following about stages of change:

1. Stages of Change and motivation are directly connected
2. A person has motivation even when they are in the contemplation stage and not making changes
3. Motivation essentially means: our desire to change + confidence in doing so > fears, challenges of change, etc. This is usually a product of leaving the contemplation stage and entering preparation.
4. They are not linear – people go back and forth between these stages all the time
5. Example: Think of times you have tried to go on a diet or implement an exercise routine

At Thrive, we specifically focus on stages of change and helping our clients build motivation through a specific way of talking about change called “Motivational Interviewing.” This style of communication is collaborative and goal oriented and elicits and explores a person’s own reasons to change. We create a feeling of acceptance and compassion for our clients, rather than judgment or criticism. Our goal is to elicit “change talk” from our clients, which is when the teen talks about changes they want to make, rather than when I “tell” them what they should change.

This style of communication is what my ingredients for motivation try to mimic for parents. In review, we want to connect with our teens, have faith in their ability to problem solve, allow them to make mistakes, give consequences where appropriate, and let them lead! These are the ingredients that produce a collaborative environment and discussion similar to what we create in our office that can help you support your teen towards making changes and feeling motivated!