Affirmations to help you cope

So, this has certainly been a wild ride for our family, as I imagine it has been for yours as well. While my husband and I both feel very lucky to be able to work and provide for our family right now, having our toddler son home with us full time while also working full time has been a challenge to say the least.

While I do not have a ton of suggestions for families on how to make decisions about increasing their social circles in order to manage this situation better (for example through nannies or daycares or other sorts of supports), I do feel that we all need to recognize and weigh out the costs and benefits of these steps.

As a parent myself and a therapist working primarily with families or parents, I am watching the dramatic impact of social distancing on all of our families. While I am relatively cautious about exposing our family to risk, I completely understand why families are choosing to make some exceptions to help themselves cope. This is one of the toughest situations we have all been in collectively and it is hitting families with young and school age children the hardest.

I also have noticed that some weeks seem to be more challenging than others. My friends and I have said that we need to readjust our gages of how people are doing. Rather than 1-10 being a range of happy to sad (or something along those lines), it has now become more like 1 is in a pit of despair and 10 is keeping my head above water! While there have certainly been moments of true connection and joy with my family, there have been equally challenging times of wondering how the heck we are going to keep this up much longer without totally falling apart.

One of my favorite ways to keep going during hard times is through affirmations and at times, I seem to find a “theme song” of sorts to help me cope and process my feelings. My current theme song is “Good job” by Alicia Keys. If you haven’t listened to it, I highly recommend this song as an anthem for parents right now. We are all doing a good job with what we have been given, which is a pretty difficult situation!

Other than the theme song suggestion, I thought I would make a list of affirmations for families during tough times like this. Hopefully it is helpful to you on those tough days!

1. I am doing the best I can in an impossible situation
2. The reason this is hard is not because I am doing it wrong or that I am not enough, it is just that difficult
3. Someday, this day will be a memory
4. I am a good parent – even if I break some of my parenting rules
5. It is okay if I am not my ideal self every day right now – it is understandable on any day to struggle, let alone during a pandemic
6. We can do hard things
7. Just remember that when this started, we didn’t think we could stay home with our kids this long and we’ve made it this far
8. One day at a time
9. I can find the joy and gratitude even in a time like this
10. It is okay to be human and to need time alone, or a break, or whatever it is you need to help you get through this time

I also thought it might be helpful to share some thoughts about affirmations about our children during a time like this. As much as most of us know that this situation is hard on them too, it might be a good way to remember that!

1. Our kids are struggling too
2. It is even harder to be a kid who has even less control over things than we do
3. It is normal to struggle to deal with small things when we are upset and don’t have words to express our emotions
4. Kids need to know it is okay to struggle and that this is tough on all of us
5. We are all going to get through this together
6. It’s okay for me to apologize to them when I feel I have screwed up
7. Tomorrow is a new day
8. A hug and a snuggle can often help us all shake off a bad moment

I genuinely hope these ideas help motivate you to come up with your own list of affirmations, mantras, or intentions to help get through this situation. As we all know, this situation is so far beyond our control that the only thing we can control is our reaction. While doing so has certainly been a challenge, taking little steps every day to cope better will hopefully add up to this situation being less challenging in some small way!

At Thrive, we are happy to help support you and your family if you are struggling right now! We are accepting new referrals both for individual therapy and parent consultation but also group therapy! We have three groups currently – Teen Anxiety, Young Adult, and Parent Support. Check out this page for more information.