If anyone had told me at the beginning of 2020 that planners would end up being useless filler paper and that all of our plans were going to be just thrown out altogether, I would have laughed in disbelief and maybe tinged with a bit of fear and alarm. This has certainly been a wild ride for 2020 and I thought it might be helpful to check in about how we are all doing and coping.
From what I observe, it seems like many people and families started off quarantine strong and feeling some sense of unity in the fact that we were all doing the same thing to try to protect our society. While that was challenging, it seemed like the feeling of togetherness and time limited nature of our perception of the situation helped some of us cope with it.
Now that we are well into August and continuing to live very different lives than we did pre-pandemic, I wanted to give us all an opportunity to take stock of how we are doing and what we might need to do to help ourselves continue on during this time.
I have observed many of my clients and friends and family members struggling with similar things. One of which is the fact that this seems like it is going to last a long time. While many of us have gotten our lives to a place where they are slightly manageable (for us daycare was a game changer and for other families we know, involving family or nannies, or having a parent reduce work hours has helped too) – they are still not the most enjoyable at times.
While I’m not sure I can promise that my thoughts or suggestions can make living through a global pandemic FUN, I do think that there are ways we can work through this difficult time more effectively.
- Gratitude – I have noticed a significant difference in the coping between those I know who are deeply aware of the things in their lives that are going well or that they have to be grateful for. This situation has really helped illuminate my own gratitude list and the fact that things like my family or our ability to have fun together and get along just being at our home are things to be grateful for. While gratitude can’t take away the challenges our world is experiencing or that we are experiencing on a daily basis, it can help us recognize areas where we are lucky.
- Scheduling in Down Time – Even if it is just 15-30 minutes where you take a breather, I would strongly recommend everyone consider how they can set up a part of their day where they can just be. For parents, this might mean letting their kids watch some extra TV or play outside or play in a “yes space” more unsupervised. For others, this might mean carving in time in your work day to just breathe and not having a meeting or task to do. Maybe we get up 15 minutes early to listen to a podcast, meditation, go for a walk, or something else to start our day more centered. Figuring out what you might be missing and how to schedule it in will hopefully help get through this time.
- Reconsidering Our Values – Values are an important topic in my office because I think most of our lives and goals need to be centered around our values and living what is most important to us. I think that the pandemic gives us such a great opportunity to really think about what is most important to us in our lives. For me, I realized that I didn’t want to have to spend as much time on work, even for projects that I find compelling, interesting, and could be profitable. I realized that I want to spend more time with my family and myself. Eventually, that list will also include family and friends once the situation allows! I noticed that the pace of our life pre-pandemic was a bit too frenetic and that creating more space to live my values was important to me.
- Mindfulness and other Present Moment Focused Strategies – Especially with the future being so hazy and unclear, the more we can stay present in the moment and enjoy the brief respites we have from the sadness, overwhelming pain, and challenges in the world – the better. I find that just taking time to enjoy playing with my toddler son and getting immersed in his world of play helps me to stay in the present. While there is a deep sadness underneath my joy in those moments that relates to the state of our world, I have found that by enjoying the moments of joy I feel less despairing and more in touch with my own sense of hope.
- Taking Breaks from Social Media – I believe that social media is an amazing tool in our world that can also create challenges for us that don’t necessarily need to be there. While I like to scroll Insta or Facebook like the rest of the world – I also like to take a break or set limits on the time I spend on there. The more I have learned about the algorithms of these websites specifically trying to create more division in our world, the more I feel compelled to pay attention to what is happening there but to also take space to manage my own sense of personal balance.
I truly hope that it is helpful for you to check in with yourself to gauge how you and your family are doing during this time in our world. What would you like to be doing more of? What is it about the pandemic that is difficult for you and how can we manage those feelings? While I tend not to be a person who enjoys journaling, I obviously enjoy blogging and use this space to help me process the world. Perhaps you would like to blog or journal as well!
If you or your loved ones are struggling, as so many of us are, you are not alone. Please reach out to us at Thrive if we can help support you in any way!
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